Entry 7: Birthday and such..

Entry 7: Birthday and Such…

Hello my blogging world!  It feels like it has been forever since, I unleashed my thoughts and emotions.  Guess what?  I’m a whole year older!  Yesterday was my “25^th” birthday and I had a wonderful day. I went out to my old stomping grounds with some really great friends.  I truly have some amazing friends and now how to make me feel special and loved. 

It was exciting because it was also, my 91^st day of completing my goal list.  So, I was able to log back into FB and I did!  Oh, my goodness, I didn’t know how to navigate it.  It has changed a good bit.  I thought I was going to be on FB all day yesterday trying to catch up with everyone’s busy that I missed for the last 90 days but strangely enough, I have only logged in for a few minutes at a time.  I really don’t have the desire to be nosey, well, maybe not as nosey. : ) I only have a few more things on my current goal list to complete which are to make candles to sell at the local farmers markets and be a two week vegetarian.  I have to figure out the details/money before I can make the candles and I am hoping I can recruit a best friend or two to help make them and maybe their kitchens too.  (Hint hint) As far as the two week vegetarian, I could almost do that now!  I rarely eat meat.  So, my goal is to complete this goal once I get back up to DC and on a normal working routine.  I decided last minute last week to take this week off to be with my family down in NC.  So far it has been great to see my family and friends.  Today I drove the back roads home from Durham with Mom it was nice to talk a little about Dad. It’s still hard to talk about him but Mom was able to tell me a few stories of when they took the same back road.  As Mom, talked and told the little minor details of their excursion on this back road, I couldn’t help but remember the adventurous side of my Dad. Dad may not have been able to travel the world over but he made each day new.  He would get up early to go walk the lake in search of the most inspiring piece of driftwood.  He would spend hours in search of the prefect barn picture.  He never stopped wanting to learn everything he could learn or stop seeing everything he could see.  He would stop along a one lane mountain road to see what the river looked like and not to mention the requirement to take any random road that crossed his path. He would slowly drive dirt roads in search of anything that caught his attention most the time this would be the elusive buck with the enormous rake.   As a kid, I use to hate riding with the parents in the back seat while they drove slowly down unplanned dirt roads as they simply enjoyed their time together.  And that’s what they did, enjoyed each others company.  As Mom went from story to story, I caught myself wanting to drive slower and slower.  I didn’t want to stop hearing what Dad said, what he did, where he walked.  I would like to think I have a little bit of his adventurous side.  I just hope that I never get too busy to enjoy the little things in life.  Like driving random back roads with no aim in sight, a starry night in the country with two falling stars, hugs and kisses from a child that loves you, a sunrise with your favorite cup of coffee, a double rainbow when you thought there was no hope for beauty, or simply enjoying the company of someone special even if you aren’t doing anything but driving down a long dirt random road.

This is what a random dirt road showed me once in Colorado. 

Until next time! Lots of love!

Entry 6: This is why...

Entry 6: This is why…

First things first!  I wanted to share with you “my song” of the day! Be Here Now, by Ray LaMontagne

Click on this link to listen to Be Here Now, by Ray LaMontagne

Okay, I hope you enjoyed the song because it sets me up for my next thought, BE HERE NOW! This morning my big brother was in a very serious accident.  He is okay but by nothing short of miracle. I always stress over whether or not, I’ve said the right things, did the right things, plan the right things and this is why!  Because you never know what tomorrow will bring.  I guarantee you my brother did not think he would have to be cut out of his truck this morning.  Life is so precious.  Not one second of your life should be consumed with petty drama, hurtful words, harmful thoughts or acts.  At the end of the day, I always pray that I did not leave anything unsaid, no acts undone, and those that I love know without a doubt.  Seeing those pictures of my brother’s truck brings tears to my eyes and a knot in my stomach that hasn’t gone away all day.  I hope and pray that whoever reads this entry stops long enough to think long and hard about their life, their decisions, and their loved ones.  You simply do not know when it’s your time to go.  So, live the life you know you should live, make the decisions that will allow you sleep peacefully at night, and always tell those you care about how much you love them.  Be here now, live in the moment, don’t hold back, be the person you are proud to be, love those that love you, forgive those that forgive you and move on from anything that may be holding you back.  I know I’m an analyzer at heart and I even wish there were times when I didn’t analyze everything.  However, moments like this remind me why God chose for me to be analytical.  It’s just who I am and gosh darn it, we need analytical people to remind the rest of you folks, why to never go to bed heavy hearted. 

                 

      Speaking of analytical, I want to give you a little bit of information that I learned in college that I thought was very interesting but later learned how very important it is to understand and appreciate. There are four types of personalities in this world; Extrovert, Amiable, Analytical, and Pragmatic.  I would like to think I possess a little of all four but if I had to pick one, it would be analytical hands down.  I am analyzer by the grace of God and sometimes I wish I could just learn to go with the flow and stop worrying if I’ve made the right decision.  However, I know it’s my personality and changing that is not an option.  To give you a little more information I have copied and pasted a couple of great description of each from the internet.  Read through each and figure out which personality suits you the best.

Four personality styles

Most people don’t fall completely into one category, but they do tend to have one overriding tendency. One of the easiest ways to visualize the differences between personalities is to put them on a graph. The vertical axis is their decision making criteria (data or feelings). The horizontal axis is their assertiveness.

• Analytical:
• Traits: Systematic, organized, and deliberate. Analyticals need facts and data. Logic prevails over emotion. They like systems and procedures. Analyticals are slow to make decisions (paralysis by analysis) but decisions are extremely sound. Dependable workers they tend to be independent and not work well in teams.
• Typical careers: programmers, engineers, and accountants.
• Goal: intellectual recognition
• Keyword: Thinking
• Favorite question is what?
• Pro: precise, methodical, organized, rational, detail oriented
• Con: critical, formal, uncertain, judgmental, picky
• Bottom line: want things done right.
• Pragmatic:
• Traits: Tends to be leaders. Often called drivers they are practical and focused on results. Pragmatics are direct, to the point, and do a lot in a short time. They are decisive, driven, and results driven. Pragmatics have compassion for the truly disadvantaged but no patience for “lazy whiners.”
• Typical careers: manager, lawyer, banker
• Goal: find practical solutions to problems
• Keyword: results
• Favorite question is how?
• Pro: persistent, independent, decision maker, effective, strong willed
• Con: aggressive, strict, intense, relentless, rigid
• Bottom line: produce results in a practical manner.
• Amiable:
• Traits: Dependable, loyal, and easy going. They like things that are non-threatening and friendly. Amiables hate facts and details because they are cold and impersonal. Warm, sensitive, and wishy-washy. Amiables are rarely leaders but tend to make great followers and team players.
• Typical careers: HR manager, social worker, physical therapist, counselor
• Goal: create harmony and cooperation
• Keyword: feelings
• Favorite question is why?
• Pros: cooperative, dependable, warm, listener, negotiator
• Cons: undisciplined, dependent, submissive, overly cautious, conforming
• Bottom line: things need to be done harmoniously and they need to be personally involved.
• Extrovert:
• Traits: Outgoing, enthusiastic, and high energy. Extroverts are great idea generators without follow through. They enjoy helping and socializing. Talker, overly dramatic, impulsive, and manipulative. Money motivated. They tend to direct and control not ask and listen.
• Typical careers: politician, musician, sales
• Goals: making things happen by turning ideas into action
• Keyword: action
• Favorite question is What if?
• Pro: enthusiastic, persuasive, outgoing, positive, communicator
• Cons: ego centered, emotional, exploitive, opinionated, reacting.
• Bottom line: things done with a sense of drama and style.

http://blog.wealth-and-wisdom.com/2008/08/11/mastering-the-four-personality-styles/

Extrovert: someone who probably has a messy desk; who leaves projects 75% completed then gets distracted by new, 'more exciting' projects; someone who communicates their ideas with enthusiasm and charm; makes instant decisions; hates 'paperwork' and the 'dull routines' of life, such as filling in order forms, checking bank statements, etc.; is usually 'fashionably late' to meetings, events and parties (and they love entertaining clients!); always has interesting screen savers.

Amiable: someone who is the 'peacemaker' in the office; is always striving for a 'win-win' in everything in life; someone who probably isn't terribly ambitious and striving, but is very happy to support and encourage others who are; someone who cannot say "No" very easily and so are probably on every committee going (whether they actually want to be or not); is more likely to make a decision on the spot if only to stop you 'hassling' them, otherwise will take weeks to make a decision (if at all, as they prefer others to make the decision for them); like to know what others are doing (in case they themselves are doing something inappropriate or foolish).

Analytical: 'GadgetMan' - has multiple PDAs in case one fails; has several computers for the same reason; adores punctuality; when they tell you they recently bought something they won't round the number up but will tell you to the exact dollar and cent how much they paid; loves playing with spreadsheets, charts and projections; will never make a decision on the spot; will buy a car based on fuel economy, servicing costs, resell value, depreciation and other factors, never 'because it's a lovely shade of blue'.

Pragmatic: a 'take charge' person; their view is the way things will probably get done; they listen to others' points of view out of courtesy or intellectual curiosity, but will still do things 'my way' ; doesn't take business rejection personally; not interested in how 'exciting' a project might be, only interested in how much money it will cost/make and how soon it can be implemented/built; very often the Pragmatic likes the colour ' Red '; doesn't have any photos of family or friends on their desk (too unprofessional); has a neat, organized desk.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5986

I hope you enjoyed reading through the different personalities that we are surrounded by every day.  I believe if one can even attempt to understand who their neighbor is this world would be full of a lot more happier people.  Now think about what personality your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend has?  Is it the same as yours or the complete opposite?  Interesting huh! Well, it is to me.  Here is a quote I adore to close. 

Be Wonderful! 

 

Entry 5: Gibberish

Entry 5: Gibberish

I’m going to take a break from my goal list today.  I am having a hard time today calming my mind for some reason.  I have a million thoughts racing through my mind. Now, that I think about it, it makes sense.  There is a lot going on as the month of October arrives.  I will be turning a year older in 6 days, 11 days will mark one year without seeing my Daddy’s face in nothing other than my dreams and thoughts, 28 days I will be leaving for a month long TDY for work and plus so much more.  My mind is here and there and then back again.  As I take a deep breathe in, I remind myself that I am so very lucky.  I don’t have much but I have everything I need, shelter, food, air in my lungs and love over flowing.  I am so very thankful to be alive on this very Monday, September 26, 2011.  It’s truly a wonderful day to be alive.  The sun is peeking out behind the brilliant white clouds and not to mention the crisp cool fall breeze raddling my window shades. So, as I am reminded to stop worrying about what I can’t change, I want to encourage you to do the same thing.  Tomorrow seems so close but for some tomorrow will never come.  So, make sure you say what you need to say, do what you need to do, and be sure to show love where love is due. 

In the last several weeks, I have learned something about myself that I really never stop to notice.  My whole life, I have compacted my days with searching for words/acts of encouragement, passion and love. I search everywhere for these complex words.  Maybe it’s a girl thing, I don’t know.  If it is, someone tell me because, I am in an endless whirl wind of finding the next breathtaking moment in life.  Whether it is in movie, a quote, a person, a grocery store, in nature, in the sky, in a song, I am always looking! Encouragement is such an important part of life.  We all need encouragement to face the next “adventure”.  Even the strongest person has someone telling him or her to keep going, keep trying, keep loving yourself, keep facing fear, keep getting up, keep fighting, keep dreaming, keep on keeping on. Passion!  Oh, my goodness, I love this word.  I truly do. Not because I have tons of passion everywhere I turn but the opposite, I am always trying to discover my passion.  The Webster’s definition of passion is as follows:  “Any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate”.  Passion is what drives us to follow through with what we desire.  Passion is not easy for me to keep in full throttle every day or even in throttle for that matter.   However, I believe it should be something we constantly work on, to tweak, to improve, to polish every day we can. Passion is very difficult for me to define for myself.  I think I have passion.  I mean, I know, I have a passion for American Agriculture.  I love everything about the world of agriculture but I’m not sure if that is a passion I would want to “polish” daily.  So, I would have to say, I have always wanted to show love without questions or cause.  This is something that I definitely need to work on.  Life lessons have caused me to hold back from giving all of myself to others.  Getting that back, is not easy but I know it’s doable with persistence. I guess that slides right into my last quest in life, love.  Love.  Dang, loving is so tough.  I don’t mean loving your family and friends but love in a desired relationship.  I’m the type of person that when I choose to fall in love someone, I love them with every atom of my heart and soul and then some.  BUT, I don’t believe, I know how to show it properly or I don’t know how to show it all the time.  Does that make sense?  I’m not sure if it’s my defense mechanism or I’m simply screwed up or a little bit of both. Because, I’m definitely not beneath being screwed up.  Looking back on the serious relationship’s I have had, I behaved this way with all of them.  I held back, I didn’t say what I wanted, I simply ran while in the relationship but I was happy and in love. So, it’s like I’m holding on for dear life but trying desperately to run the other direction but really not wanting to go anywhere. I don’t know.  It is actually really scary to see this flaw of mine written out.  Anyway, I’m sorry for the ramble of gibberish this entry. I can only hope that one day I will unlock my heart from the barbwire fence that holds it back.

BE WONDERFUL!  It’s Zumba night!

Entry 4: A thought and more goals.

Entry 4: A thought and more goals.

My short thought of the day.  I want to share with you one of my favorite poems.  I’m sure you probably have already heard it but I believe it is worth a reminder.  I have this poem posted beside my desk at work.  As you read each line, stop and really think about what each line is saying.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

- by Marianne Williamson

…photoshoot, tan, wax, hair…

YES, did a photo shoot!  On the beach in a bathing suit!  To most of you that don’t know me, that’s not a big deal.  But for the ones that know me, you know that was a feat to overcome.  My entire life, I have hated putting myself into a bikini.  I have a lot of haters for not feeling comfortable in a bikini, I can hear the comments now, “oh, shut up Valaree you are so skinny, shut up”.  I know I’m not the only one that has heard these comments especially if you aren’t on the healthier side of life.  But what most don’t know or didn’t know about me, is the simple fact, like most women, I too was self-conscious of my body.  (I say “was” because I believe you have to own it before you believe it.)  For many reason, the main reasons are I have very small breast and you aren’t supposed to wear bikinis unless you have a voluptuous top half.  And then because, I have a rather large backside and because of my wonderful genetics from my father’s side of the family, I just happen to have stretch marks too!  So, no breast and a large ugly behind don’t mix in a bikini!  Well, that is before, I realized that life is WAY too short to worry about what others think about you.  I joined the gym and worked out and got myself comfortable in a bikini.  If you feel good and are healthy there is no reason for you to not feel comfortable in your own skin.  You are beautiful!!  The human body is a master piece.  We are different for a reason and just because you are designed uniquely, does not make you any less stunning then the next person.  Could you imagine if we looked just a like?  How boring would life be? I am ME, no chest and a big ol’ booty! Actually, I have to confuse, since, I have been working out I have lost some of my booty.  ;) So, I called a wonderful photographer out of Jacksonville, NC and asked him if he would do my pictures!  I worked on my tan all summer long.  I did spray tan for the first time in my life as well.  Let’s just say, it was interesting.  My poor toes came out completely orange and then I had these random spots of orang-ness all over my body.  Would I do it again? Probably.  After the tan was worked on, I did the bikini wax for the first time in my life as well!  I applaud all women that have put themselves through pure misery time and time again to have their bikini lines just right.  It HURT!  SO BAD!  However, people ask would I do it again, yes!  I actually would suggest it to all women.  Last but not least on today’s entry, hair.  I did get my hair done!  Something very simple to put on my goal list but nevertheless, it was completed.  To make a long story short, I have my pictures and I am so glad I step completely outside my comfort zone and experienced such a magical feeling of loving myself in my own skin.  I will put up just a few of my pictures to share with you.  If you are interested in having your picture taken, I can send you my photographer’s information!  Gotta get going, its power sculpt tonight! 

Entry 3: More goals

Entry 3:

Learning to Swim, write a blog, read “on the road” and “something borrowed”, lose 10 pounds, gym at least 3 times a week.

Hello again.  Sorry for the delay in between my post.  I’m not quite sure how a “real” blog is conducted but this is my blog and it goes like I want it. Before I jump into some of my goal choices, I wanted to share a thought with you.  I spent the past weekend in Atlanta, GA with my best friend and I wanted to share one thing I learned.  Stephanie and I went to “Dialog in the Dark” exhibit.

http://www.dialogue-in-the-dark.com/

The exhibit allows you to enter into a short journey in the life of a blind or visually impaired person.  As I walked through the pitch black rooms with my walking stick, Stephanie and 5 complete strangers, I was able to put my life in prospective.  I realized that I called out for Stephanie several times not wanting to walk alone in this unseen world and I never doubted she would say “I’m here”.  How very lucky am I to have so many family and friends to call out to and always here “I’m here” right back.  As we journeyed through a park, grocery store, a boat, a city street, and a bar, I knew I could find the confidence needed to find my way through.  In that hour of darkness, I was reminded how very lucky I am to have not only my sight but a friend that will always say, “I’m here” if I call out for her.  I inspire to be an “I’m here” friend, daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt, cousin, and companion.   As our eyes adjusted to the light after our tour this quote was the first thing we got to see clearly. Pretty neat.

Okay back to my goal list.  Learn to swim!  Well, I tried very hard to get into the swim classes at the gym but they were completed packed full so, I have to wait until the next time they offer the class which is not until November but I will be gone that whole month, so, it will have to wait.  However, I did force myself to attempt swimming this past summer on several occasions. I was told that I can swim; I just needed to find the confidence in myself.  I have to admit when I was told that, I pushed myself further to stay in the deep end and just learn to feel more comfortable.   Next on the list “write a blog”.  Well, here I am! Next, read “On the road” and “something borrowed”, I have started both books but have not completed them.  I know I know I know.  I am a very, VERY slow reader so, I’m working on it.  I will finish the books and give a full report!  Next on the list, “lose 10 lbs”.  I wanted to lose the weight because of the “photo shoot” goal which, I only had two months to prepare for.  I am happy to report; I have lost 8.5 lbs which fluctuates up and down on a daily basis which makes me nuts.  I lost the weight in a two months’ time by practicing extreme discipline! And I do mean EXTREME discipline.  I completely changed my thought process, my daily activities, eating habits, and attitude.  I joined the gym and started caring about what I put in my body.  I had to read and re-read and then re-read and then re-read discipline quotes such as the following to keep my mind focused on the goal.

“A man without decision of character can never be said to belong to himself . . . . He belongs to whatever can make captive of him."

— John Foster

"Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself-and be lenient to everybody else."

— Henry Ward Beecher

"Rule your mind or it will rule you."

— Horace

I kid you not; I had to completed surround myself with words of discipline.  Every day I read the following quote by Jim Rohn, “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.” It worked for me.  Like I said, I joined the gym and I probably workout 2 hours, 4 days a week most weeks.  I absolutely love Zumba!  It’s so much fun!  Although, there are several other classes that I just can’t wait to go to.  I have a fascination with making sure I am dripping sweat before I leave the gym.  Weird I know, but I would have never thought I would have changed so much in such a short period of time either!  Speaking of the gym, its power step and zumba in 30 gotta get going!  Until next time!  Find yourself a quote that makes you stop and put yourself in prospective!  Good luck!