Today is a free day.  Whatever I want…

The sun and stars that float in the open air... the

apple shaped earth and we upon it... surely the drift

of them is something grand;

I do not know what it is except that it is grand, and that it

is happiness,

And that the enclosing purport of us here is not a speculation,

or bon-mot or reconnaissance,

And that it is not something which by luck may turn out

well for us, and without luck must be a failure for us,

And not something which may yet be retracted in a certain

contingency.

Walt Whitman

This day

That day runs through my mind like a silent black and white movie

Everything in slow motion

I’m screaming at the top of my lungs but no one hears me

I wish there was a way to know then what I know now

Sickness can pull you in so many ways you never thought possible

Not knowing how to accept love I will have to wonder for the rest of my life

I should have said yes to your love.

Nobody ever said it was easy but no one ever told me it would be this hard

Now all there is to blame is me and my childish ways

Now that I’m alone this day

Scientist by Coldplay

Shelter by Ray Lamontagne

Let you go by Josh Gracin

A Thousand Years by Christina Perri

Air Stream by Miranda Lambert

Somebody’s Baby by Jackson Browne

Black Lung Heartache by Joe Bonamassa

Entry 12: Old and sharing anyway.

Entry not sure will look up later: Will I ever.

My goodness, what is up with my emotions the past couple of days?  I’m trying all my techniques and it’s not budging.  I have so much to be thankful for which I am!  I have so much that so many would love to have. I don’t worry about if I will eat dinner tonight, where my head will lay, or when I will see someone that loves me.  It’s crazy.  I cannot get my thoughts in line.  Maybe it’s because I didn’t work out or eat like I should have since I ended my vegetarian diet. Maybe it’s because I threw myself into my Ohio assignment and then right back into work on Monday morning.  Maybe it’s because the holidays coming up and the one man that always loved me not matter what mistakes I made is not here to see me through. I’ll make it through okay but dang, why does it all have to hit me at once.  I very rarely have days like these so, I guess I’m due.  As soon as I get back into my normal routine of working out, eating healthy, and balancing my work life to my personal life, things will get better. 

                Okay, so, it only took a split second for me to put my life into perspective.  It only took three little old ladies have lunch together at Panera Bread.  I went for my usual Pick 2, black bean soup and Fuji Apple Chicken Salad and sitting beside me were three little ladies talking about their Thanksgiving feast and family coming in.  You could tell that the ladies have been friends for some time by the way they carried on, interrupting each other and blurting out whatever they feel was right to say.  You could tell they all loved each other and was so thankful to be having lunch with each other. As I watched them chitchat and eat, I was reminded how lucky I am.  So, that’s all it took to put me back into the right state of mind. 

So, I was able to go 30 days without eating any meat of any sort.  My 30 day goal ended on November 12, 2011 with the voted “Best Cheeseburger in Cincinnati in 2010”.   

Yes, it was GOOD, as you can see from the picture. I had mixed feelings after eating my dripping goodness of a cheeseburger, like I had done something wrong.  I hated that feeling. It didn’t last very long, I was back to eating sushi the next day and oh, it was just as good as I remembered!  Needless to say, I haven’t thought about going vegetarian long term.  I have however, considered to not eat as much meat for the simple fact I did have a lot of energy and felt better.  Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I can’t wait to just be home for a little while with no aim in sight.  Go running at my elementary school and just breathe familiar air.   My family celebrates Thanksgiving on Saturday so; I have a couple of days before I’m able to stuff my face.  I hope you all have a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving!  

Well, I just wanted to update you on my diet!  Hope you don’t eat too much tomorrow and find at least one thing you are thankful for.  This year, I am dedicating my Thanksgiving “Thanks” to our men and women of our armed forces.  We wouldn’t be having Thanksgiving if it wasn’t for the brave souls that serve our country.  Attached are a couple of short videos that are worth watching so enjoy!

My "Thanks" at Thanksgiving. 

More Thanks. 

Sorry this entry was posted so late!  

"This world is but a canvas to our imagination." Henry David Thoreau